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September 30, 2014

Warning: Terrible Things Ahead!

After graduating college, I was excited to start my new job. After getting engaged, I was excited to plan my wedding. And after finding out I was pregnant, Matt and I were beyond excited to start our new family. But...

After graduating college, I was excited to start my new job. After getting engaged, I was excited to plan my wedding. And after finding out I was pregnant, Matt and I were beyond excited to start our new family. But at each of these milestones in my life—and many in between—I would occasionally get this response from a friend or family member:

“Oh just wait…”

And it was never in the perky tone that says, “Just wait, it’s about to be so great!” It was the doomsday tone of Dun, Dun, Dun!

Then it was usually followed by some well-meaning, but very terrifying warning about the expense of the “real world,” the exhaustion of wedding planning, and most recently, the difficulty of newborns. I’ve actually already started getting warnings about how tough it is to raise teenagers! I’m so glad they are giving me a heads-up so I have 14 years to prepare myself!

Every time someone responds to my happiness at a new chapter in my life with “Oh just wait,” I’ll be honest: It makes me mad. It rains on my parade and steals my joy, but darn it if I haven’t caught myself saying the exact same phrase!

I hate it when others do it and I hate it when I do it. It’s not helpful and it smothers the other person’s excitement. And guess what? It’s not an accurate prediction either. Maybe you had a tough road in that chapter, but that doesn’t mean someone else will. And most of all, it doesn’t prepare them anyway!

There’s no amount of terrifying warnings that can prepare you for life. All it does successfully is spread worry, fear and dread. And I don’t know about you, but those aren’t emotions that I want to be known for!

So if you’re like me and find yourself slipping into the unhelpful habit of warning your friends with “Oh just wait,” just don’t. Let’s all try to be better than that. Tough times are a reality for all of us in any stage of life, but it doesn’t mean we can’t capture the moments of celebration when they come. Instead, let’s throw some confetti with them and cheer them on in this exciting new chapter. After all, that’s what we’d want someone to do for us during our parade!

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  1. Melinda says:

    I was a single parent from conception until my daughter was seven. She’s now sixteen. I too have heard, and are still hearing, all the doomsday news. From one mum to another – the good times are so much better than you can ever imagine. Enjoy this time of your life.

    Newborns are amazing, your heart (and often your eyes) overflow with love. Toddlers are hilarious, so curious and imaginative. Teenagers are great, it’s wonderful to see an adult developing right before your eyes. Every stage is a miracle.

  2. Dottie says:

    There are blessings every day no matter what the occasion; graduation, marriage, pregnancy, and yes even becoming a widow. You learn how much joy you really have when you savour moments. All occasions can be a challenge, depending on how you look at them or how they “take” you. Live today, making every connection you make count. You never know if that connection you just made really needed some affirmation, or just simply a smile. Thank you for the reminders . . . enjoy every day of your pregnancy . . . when you are holding that little one, you will explode with joy of the miracle that you are holding.