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May 7, 2015

6 Lessons Learned From New Moms

I have a close group of girlfriends that, for about five years, has gotten together almost every week to have dinner and watch The Biggest Loser. We laugh and cook and talk and live life together. We actually pay very...

I have a close group of girlfriends that, for about five years, has gotten together almost every week to have dinner and watch The Biggest Loser. We laugh and cook and talk and live life together. We actually pay very little attention to the show, but the show isn’t the point anyway. It’s just a day that we can all count on to get to see each other, because the craziness of life can sometimes get in the way of quality time.

During the last year, of the eight of us, six have had babies within eight months. No, we didn’t plan that of course—that would be very weird. But I am so thankful for getting to experience this incredible new stage of life with my best girlfriends at the same time.

With Mother’s Day right around the corner, I asked each of them one lesson that they had learned since becoming a new mom. Their words of truth and wisdom are not only refreshing for new moms, but they ring true for veteran moms, soon-to-be moms and anyone that is a mother figure to someone else.

Here are our six lessons we’ve learned this last year that you can share with the wonderful mothers in your life:

  1. Motherhood isn’t a competition. Sure, other moms may make their own baby food, have perfect abs, and cook gourmet meals every night, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. And most of all, you aren’t less than if you don’t. I felt such relief when I stopped trying to compete. Oh, and you aren’t as fat as you think you are.” –Ruthie, mom to June
  1. Be nicer to your own mom!” –Nikki, mom to Charlie
  1. “You can’t imagine it with your first baby, but it’s incredible how your heart is able to grow with each additional child. –Beth, mom to Davidson and Charlie
  1. Allow others to help you even if they do it differently than you would.” –Sarah, mom to Elijah
  1. “I have learned that my child, although a baby, has her own interests and personality. I think it is important for her to be around other people besides myself.” –Sarah, mom to Jessie
  1. You are more than your child’s mother. This is hard for me to remember, because of everything I’ve ever achieved in my life, nothing gives me a sense of pride and purpose like being my son’s mom. But when I remember that I was also a woman with strengths and gifts and interests before I had my child, I don’t have to feel guilty for taking care of myself or enjoying one of those aspects of my life now after having him. It’s not selfish; it’s smart.” – Christy (me), mom to Carter

This Mother’s Day, I hope you find joy, celebration and appreciation from your own family as well as the family of other mothers around you. After all, we’re all in this together! Happy Mother’s Day!

 

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  1. #6!! THIS! That was hard for me to learn and accept. I need balance, and if I give every drop of myself to my family, I am a shell running on fumes! I am a woman and person too, behind the roles of wife and mother. I need to keep my own interests, and pour into my marriage, because one day those kids will be grown and gone, and all I will have left is my spouse and myself. I don’t want to be the mother-in-law who is so lost and floundering with the new roles and identities, that she becomes that meddlesome woman who gets ranted about on the internet. I want my kids to not be put in the middle, having to stand up for their mate, and feeling like they have to be the bad guy. I want to be the cool mother-in-law who applies judicious meddling to where it is most important or most beneficial to everyone involved – especially any children they have.