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April 5, 2016

Dear Stay at Home Moms

I get letters from many of you asking for help. You want to know if it’s okay to want more. You want to know how to recover lost parts of yourself. You want to know how to even get started. I’m...

Dear Stay at Home Moms

I get letters from many of you asking for help. You want to know if it’s okay to want more. You want to know how to recover lost parts of yourself. You want to know how to even get started. I’m going to start writing on these topics more, but to get the conversation going, here is my first response to each of you.

Dear stay-at-home moms, 

I want you to know that you’re important. I don’t just mean you’re important to your children’s development and well-being. I mean you are important in our world. Your journey, experience and perspective is valid and valued. The work you put in is worthy. The hours you spend putting everyone first are not in vain. You will reap the seeds of love and tireless work that you’ve sewn in your family, community and world. You are not invisible, disposable, or replaceable. You are beautiful, and you are very, very important.

I want you to know that you’re doing a good job. When your kids are being crazy and you want to go crazy, know you’re doing a good job. When your house isn’t sparkling and your parties aren’t Pinterest-perfect, know you’re doing a good job. When you feel like you are always coming from behind and you never feel like you have it together, just know you’re doing a good job. Because friends, you have the same permission as everyone else to have a life—a messy, imperfect, crazy, real life.

I want you to know that it’s okay. It’s okay to want more than laundry and Legos sometimes. It’s okay to want to do something with your education, skills and experience. It’s okay to need your girlfriends, a night out, a nap, or a break. It’s okay to not find your every fulfillment and validation for your entire existence in your children. It’s okay to fantasize about the “old you” sometimes. It’s okay to want to get away, get a hobby, or get a drink. It’s okay to want more.

Maybe your life hasn’t turned out like you thought it would, or maybe it’s better than you imagined. Maybe you’re staying home with the kids for a season because you need to, or maybe that’s your first choice and the best long-term decision for you and your family.

Either way, I want you to know that you have permission to be you. Not only a mother, but fully, completely, wholly the woman that God created you to be. Whatever that looks like in your world, you have permission to be you.

Being a mother is an amazing, life-changing, unmatchable gift. But I want to remind you that you were also perfect and whole and lovely and important before you had children. You have permission to want to be more than rides given, games played, homework completed and dinners served. You have permission to want to use your God-given gifts, talents, education and skills. You have permission to want to recover some of you that maybe was left behind when life got so busy. You have permission to be you.

I promise you this: The more you lean into living in the fullness of the woman that God created, the even better mother that you’ll be.

You are important.
You’re doing a good job.
It’s okay to want more.
And you have permission to be you.

Your friend,
Christy
_______________________________________________________
For more inspiration, encouragement and practical tips on how to put this into action, come to the Business Boutique Event and check out these articles:

How To Get Back To The Things You Love
When You’re Your Best
6 Lessons Learned From New Moms

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Leave a Comment

  1. Ben says:

    Thank you Christie for this post. I am not a mother, but I am a stay at home dad. After 10 years in my very fast-paced profession, my wife and I came into a season where it was the right choice for me to be the one who stayed at home with our new baby girl. She is now almost two and it has truly been a blessing as a father of five to have spent this much time with my daughter in these young years, something I wasn’t able to do with our first four. But with all that good, also comes so many emotions of inadequacy and unproductivity. It has felt at times as though life is passing me buy and that I’m falling behind in the things I’m called to do. I know your post was for mothers, but it did help me too. Maybe you can write one specific to stay at home dads soon too. Thanks again

  2. Mary Carter says:

    This is what I needed to hear today. It’s something I have been wrestling with lately, and your words are timely. Thank you for your voice about this matter.

  3. Gina says:

    Thank you ! I need to hear this !! As I sit waiting for my son at music, my daughter asleep on my shoulder. Then home , Girl Scout and PTA meeting . You know the night job of home.
    Gina

  4. Janet says:

    Thank you Christy! I think this article echoes how so many of us stay at home moms feel. thank you for the validation. As noble and worthy as it is to stay at home I yearn for something more. I believe that God created me for more than just this, but after nearly 17 years it’s hard to believe I have something of value in the marketplace. My degree, at this stage seems pointless. Looking forward to more articles on this topic.