Ep 60: How to Face Your Fears and Do It Scared
November 13, 2018 - 01:05:15
If you’ve been in business for any amount of time—heck, if you’ve been living for any amount of time—you’ve encountered fear. We always think of fear as a bad sign. But in truth, fear is not a sign that we’re doing something bad; it’s a sign we’re doing something bold.
So many times in life fear can hold us back from doing the thing we’re really meant to do.
Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you don’t get scared.
When Fear Makes You Doubt Your Ability
I was 10 years old the first time I realized I was a good runner—at the skate center of all places.
It gave me incredible confidence as a 10-year-old to discover something I was naturally good at. It was this realization that led me to join the track team in middle and high school.
Despite my natural running ability and the fact that I loved running, the strangest thing happened before every race.
I got scared.
I’m not talking about the normal “prerace butterflies.” I mean, I was terrified.
Being scared made me doubt my ability and made me want to quit.
I would beg my coach to take me out of the race, and every time he made me go to the starting line. I love that about him. He made me do it anyway.
You’d think that after running multiple events for multiple track meets over multiple years, I wouldn’t have gotten scared anymore. But I always did.
Then my coach did something that helped me change my focus and interrupt my thought pattern.
At one of the track meets, I was begging him to take me out of the race, he looked me in the eyes, exasperated, and said, “Christy, will you just tell me one thing you like about yourself?”
Confused, I answered him: “My blue eyes.”
“Great,” he said. “Focus on that. I don’t want you to think about the race, the other runners, or your time. Just focus on your blue eyes.”
Changing my focus from what I was scared about to what I was confident in was just enough to distract the fear out of me.
Related: The Fear or Wisdom Filter
Changing Your Focus to Overcome Fear
Whether you choose to think about what you’re scared of or what you’re proud of, what you focus on will become magnified in your life.
Focusing on what you’re good at and what you’re proud of will encourage you to get better.
Focusing on fear causes you to stay back, give up, or play small.
I was a good runner, but fear made me doubt my training, my track record and my natural ability.
It doesn’t matter how many accomplishments you’ve earned. The fear can get so loud in your head that it makes you doubt yourself.
But here’s the good news: You get to choose what you focus on.
The thoughts you allow to enter your mind will change your entire experience.
My friend Melissa says, “Your mind is multimillion dollar real estate. Be very selective about what you allow to reside there.”
Three Questions That Will Help You Face Your Fears
Walking to any starting line is scary, and it makes you vulnerable.
But before you let fear steal your opportunities and rob you of your potential, ask yourself a few questions.
- What’s something you like about yourself?
- What are you proud of?
- What’s going right in your life or business?
And then, focus on those answers instead.
It may just be enough to distract the fear right out of you and make you want to go for it.
Overcoming Your Fears with Jessica Honegger
Jessica Honegger is the founder and co-CEO of the socially conscious fashion brand, the Noonday Collection; author of the book, Imperfect Courage; and host of The Going Scared Podcast. As if that’s not impressive enough, she’s also the mom of three little ones. Jessica is passionate about encouraging others to leave their comfort zone, move forward even when you’re scared, and step into a life of impact.
The path to success doesn’t always seem clear, but when you focus on what you are confident in—instead of what you are fearful of—moving forward doesn’t seem so overwhelming. Why fuel your fear when you can focus on what you’re uniquely positioned to do with your gifts?
Jessica Honegger is incredibly successful, but she’s no stranger to feeling scared.
While researching adoption and visiting East Africa, she was presented with an opportunity to help sell beautiful goods made by local artisans. Jessica was facing mounting debt, and she saw this as an opportunity to not only help her family adopt a child, but to also help vulnerable communities prosper. Facing lots of uncertainty and fear, the Noonday Collection was born as a fair-trade accessories brand created to provide meaningful job opportunities for people around the world.
There is never a time you’ll feel you have the perfect resources, education or knowledge. You just go with your gut and go at it scared. You just do it!
In this episode, Jessica Honegger and I discuss how to “face your fears and do it scared.”
- You don’t have to know the answers, but you have to ask the questions.
- Take advantage of the opportunities and key relationships that God places in front of you.
- Understand what it means to “go scared” and stick with it when you have a vision.
- Embrace being unqualified and have the courage to say “yes” before you know how.
- Separate your identity from the outcome—no matter what it is.
Related: When It All Just Seems Too Big
Overcoming the Fear of Missing Out This Christmas Season
I know that we’re already in holiday craziness. Y’all, let’s be honest: Christmastime can get crazy with or without a business.
I know that I can often enter this season with high expectations for rest and relationships and, instead, be met with the harsh reality of being run ragged. If we’re not careful, we’ll have fulfilled orders, but we’ll miss out on celebrating this season with the ones we love.
With that in mind, I’ve got three steps to help you not miss out on Christmas and still run your business!
- Plan ahead.
- Set boundaries.
- Have a life.
I know that Christmas is when many of you make most of your money. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a life.
You get to decide. Make a plan today to set boundaries around work hours, orders, response time, cut off dates, and pricing.
If you don’t think this through, you’ll be up at midnight on Christmas Eve rushing orders.
You get to define what it looks like. I hope you make a plan that allows you to have a thriving business over the next six weeks while also enjoying the holiday—and having a life!
Set boundaries around work hours, orders, response time, cut off dates, and pricing. If you don’t think this through, you’ll be up at midnight on Christmas Eve rushing orders.
And of course, one of my favorite parts of this podcast is hearing directly from you. Give me a call on my new toll-free line at 844.944.1074. You might hear your question on a future episode!
1:25 How to Face Your Fears and Do It Scared
10:32 Overcoming Your Fears with Jessica Honegger
59:42 Encouragement: Overcoming the Fear of Missing Out This Christmas Season
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