Ep 93: Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women
February 18, 2020 - 38:38
I’m the product of countless women who have invested and poured into me—and I bet you are too.
In fact, I don’t know where I would be in my life today without the support of other women.
I’m so passionate about being a woman who champions other women, but you know what I’ve realized? It’s incredibly hard for us women to do. There are just so many things in our world that divide us.
Sometimes the division looks like mommy wars and parent shaming. Other times it looks like being jealous of the woman at work who got the promotion instead of being excited for her. Or maybe it’s rolling your eyes at how your neighbor parents her child differently than you do.
The reason we’re so quick to judge women with decisions different from ours is simply because we’re not completely comfortable with our own choices.
Regardless of how the situation plays out, there often seems to be an ugly division between us and other women. It’s like no matter where we stand, we’re always looking down on someone else.
But here’s something I deeply believe: The reason we’re so quick to judge women with decisions different from ours is simply because we’re not completely comfortable with our own choices. It’s not because we think she’s so wrong. It’s because we’re worried that maybe we’re wrong.
When we’re constantly insecure about our own choices, we project that onto other women by judging their decisions.
But if you want to be a woman who supports other women, you have to do what that kind of woman does! You have to connect your desire to be one with your behavior and your attitude—you know, actually walk the talk.
It all starts with the woman in the mirror. That’s why I want to talk about five intentional behaviors you can choose to do to become the type of woman who champions other women.
5 Ways to Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women
1. Love yourself.
You have to love yourself before you can love anybody else. The reason we’re so hard on others is because we’re so hard on ourselves. And if there’s no love in you for yourself, I promise you, you’ll have no love to offer other people.
The truth is: You can’t offer something you don’t have. So if you want to offer love and champion other women, you need to love yourself first.
2. Be confident in your own choices.
You can’t champion someone else’s choices if you aren’t sure about your own.
3. Give grace.
Choosing to give grace when the women in your life disappoint you will allow you to champion them despite their imperfections. Because what we all really need more of is grace.
I’m going to mess up, you’re going to mess up, and she’s going to mess up. We’re all going to mess up. That’s why we should not only offer more grace to others, but we should offer ourselves more of it too.
4. Have Empathy.
Empathy is simply putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s giving them the benefit of the doubt. It’s imagining what it would be like to be them.
All day, every day, all we ever think about is how we feel. We look at the world through our lens, unique situation, or personality style, which makes it hard to understand why someone else would respond or act differently than we would.
That’s why it’s so important to have empathy. And what’s amazing is, when you do that, it’s so easy to champion people who are different from you.
5. Give what you want to get.
If you want people to champion you, champion them. If you want people to love you, love them. If you want people to be kind to you, be kind to them. Give the things you want to get, and I promise you, you’ll get what you want and more.
Y’all, being a woman who champions other women is a beautiful thing. And the best part is, anyone can be that kind of person. When you practice loving yourself, being confident in your own choices, giving grace, having empathy, and giving what you want to get, it’s amazing how quickly you’ll move from being a woman who just wants to support other women to someone who actually does it.
Women Supporting Women with Liz Cox
All right y’all, I’m so excited for you to meet Liz Cox, an incredible businesswoman and Business Boutique success story. She’s the marketing director at Twirl Boutique, co-owner of Mint to Be Boutique, and host of the Twirl Talk podcast. But best of all, Liz beautifully lives out this whole idea of supporting and championing other women.
On this episode, Liz and I talk about:
- What it looks like to champion women who are in different life seasons
- How to identify and fight against barriers that keep you from intentional friendship
- How to navigate emotions in your life and business
Encouragement: Shake Off the Shame
I’ve noticed something going around social media and the internet in the last few years that I bet you’ve noticed too.
Shaming has become a trend.
I’ve seen articles like “So-and-so mom-shamed so-and-so.” It’s almost become this force outside of our control—like, at any time, we can become victims of this shame monster.
But it’s just not true. Sure, there are certain things that you might feel ashamed of. If you make a mistake and someone points it out, sure, you’re probably going to feel a little embarrassed.
Or let’s say there’s something you’re feeling insecure about, and someone rubs salt in the wound. Yeah—you might take on that shame.
But you know what? There’s one key trait I’ve noticed that makes you shame-repellent, both online and in person: simply being confident.
Be proud of whatever the thing is someone is trying to shame you about. Because people can’t shame you about something you’re proud of.
For example, if someone tried to make me feel bad online about the fact that I work outside the home . . . well, that would never work because I love my job. I love how I use my gifts. And I’m so stinking proud of what I get to do.
So, if anyone ever tries to shame you and make you feel bad or guilty about something, remember this:
You’re in charge of you. No one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are your own. And if you’re constantly feeling like a victim to shame or guilt or anything else, you need to take a look in the mirror and rethink who’s in control. Because those people who shame you aren’t in control of you. They’re not in control of your thoughts or your feelings. You are.
If you want to be a little bit less defenseless to shame and everyone else’s opinion of you, find confidence. Find confidence in the choices that are right for you. Be proud of those decisions, because when you’re proud of something, people can’t make you feel bad about it.
1:22 Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women
8:42 Five Ways to Become A Woman Who Supports Other Women
18:49 Women Supporting Women with Liz Cox
33:45 Encouragement: Shake Off the Shame
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Business Boutique community, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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